If you’re contemplating starting therapy, but feel trapped by fear, you’re not alone. Starting therapy can feel like standing on the edge of a diving board. You know the water below might be healing, but the leap feels uncertain. Even adults who are confident in other areas of life can find the idea of beginning therapy intimidating. You’re not alone; many people hesitate for similar reasons. Let’s unpack some of the most common fears and talk about how to move through them.
What if my therapist judges me?
Many people fear that sharing their inner world, especially the messy parts, will lead to judgment. The truth is, a skilled therapist’s job isn’t to judge but to understand. Therapists are trained to approach every story with empathy and curiosity, not criticism.
Reframe it: Think of therapy as a laboratory for self-understanding, not a courtroom. You’re not on trial; you’re exploring what makes you who you are.
I don’t even know what to talk about
This is one of the most common anxieties before the first session. You might worry about saying the “right” thing or having a clear reason for being there.
Reframe it: You don’t need a perfect script. A good therapist will help you find the words and guide the conversation. Simply showing up is enough to start the process. Your story will unfold naturally.
What if therapy makes me feel worse?
Processing emotions can sometimes feel uncomfortable before it feels better. Facing painful memories or emotions can stir things up.
Reframe it: Discomfort is often a sign that healing is happening. Research has shown that psychotherapy produces large positive effects across a wide range of mental health conditions. Therapy provides a safe container for feelings that may have been too heavy to face alone. Over time, the intensity lessens, and relief follows. That temporary discomfort? It’s the first step toward lasting relief and emotional balance.
What if people find out I’m in therapy?
Stigma about mental health is fading, but it still lingers. You may worry about being perceived as “broken” or “unstable.” The truth is, younger generations are flipping the script. On dating apps and in friendships, being in therapy is often seen as a green flag, not a red one. People want to know you’re doing the work. You might even hear phrases like, “Show me the receipts,” meaning—prove you’re actually working on yourself.
Reframe it: Seeking therapy is a sign of self-awareness, not weakness. Mental health care is no different from physical health care. No one hesitates to see a doctor when they’re in pain, and more and more people are recognizing that therapy is simply part of taking care of yourself.
I should be able to handle this myself
Many adults grew up with messages like “be strong” or “don’t depend on others.” Asking for help can feel like failure. In fact, studies show that the most common reason people avoid therapy is a desire to manage things on their own.
Reframe it: Therapy isn’t about weakness; it’s about growth. Just like hiring a trainer helps you build physical strength, therapy helps you build emotional resilience. It’s one of the most self-respecting things you can do.
What if my therapist doesn’t get me?
The therapeutic relationship matters a lot. It’s natural to worry that you might not “click” with your therapist.
Reframe it: You’re allowed to shop around. Finding a therapist is a bit like finding a good pair of shoes. Comfort matters. Most therapists expect that not every client will be a perfect fit and will happily refer you to someone else if needed.
Starting therapy takes courage. The first step is often the hardest